You tell your child that screen time is finished.
They protest.
They cry.
They beg for just a few more minutes.
What started as something calm suddenly feels intense.
And you are left wondering whether screens are really the problem, or whether you are doing something wrong.
This struggle is far more common than most people realise.
The Problem
Screens are often treated as neutral tools.
Something educational.
Something relaxing.
Something harmless in small amounts.
But many children struggle deeply with stopping once screen time begins.
Transitions become harder.
Emotions escalate quickly.
Behaviour shifts.
This is not because your child lacks discipline or willpower.
It is because screens interact powerfully with a nervous system that is still developing.
Children are not built to move easily from high stimulation to calm without support.
The Insight
Screens deliver intense stimulation.
Bright colours.
Rapid movement.
Instant feedback.
Constant novelty.
Child development and paediatric research show that this level of stimulation activates reward and attention systems that are still maturing in children.
Once activated, these systems do not switch off quickly.
This is why children often appear dysregulated when screens end.
Not because they enjoyed them too much.
But because their nervous system is overwhelmed.
Experts in child psychiatry and neuroscience explain that when stimulation is high, regulation becomes harder.
Reasoning drops.
Transitions feel abrupt.
Emotions spill out.
Public health guidance also makes an important distinction.
It is not only the amount of screen time that matters.
It is how predictable, contained, and age-appropriate it is.
Unstructured or extended screen use overwhelms regulation.
Structured, time-limited use is far easier for children to manage.
The Solution
The goal is not to remove screens entirely.
The goal is to make screen time predictable, contained, and easier to leave.
This starts with developmentally appropriate limits.
General guidance by age
- Under 18 months: no screen time, except brief video calls
- 18 months to 2 years: very limited, with you present
- 2 to 5 years: up to one hour per day
- 6 to 9 years: around one hour per day
- 10+ years: focus on structure rather than counting minutes
More important than exact numbers is one simple rule:
Screens should never replace sleep, movement, or connection.
Children cope best when they know:
when screens start
when they end
what comes next
Visual timers or simple clocks help children see time passing in a concrete way they can understand.
This reduces shock at switch-off and lowers emotional resistance.
When limits are predictable and not negotiated in the moment, children do not need to fight them.
They can prepare for them.
Small Steps You Can Start Today
Pick one.
Just one.
- Use a visual timer so your child can see how much screen time remains.
- Keep screen time at roughly the same time each day where possible.
- Give a short warning before screens end to soften the transition.
- Avoid extending screen time once the limit is set.
- Plan a calming activity after screens to help the nervous system settle.
You do not need perfect limits.
You need predictable ones.
A Gentle Closing Thought
Screens are powerful because they are stimulating.
Your child’s reaction is not a character flaw.
It is a nervous system response.
When screen time has clear beginnings and endings, it becomes easier to enjoy and easier to leave.
And when leaving is easier, behaviour improves without constant conflict.
Structure reduces stress.
For your child, and for you.
Sources: World Health Organization, Harvard Health Publishing, Dr. Dimitri Christakis, Dr. Dan Siegel, Dr. Victoria Dunckley, Dr. Bruce Perry & widely accepted paediatric and child development principles
