It usually starts with something small.
You ask your child to put shoes on.
They melt down.
You ask them to stop jumping on the couch.
They get louder.
You try to read a book together.
They wriggle, kick, roll, climb.
And in that moment, it’s easy to think:
Why can’t you just settle?
But what if your child isn’t being difficult.
What if their body is asking for something specific.
Not screen time.
Not a snack.
Not another explanation.
Something physical.
Something deep.
Something that tells their nervous system:
I feel grounded now.
The Problem: Some Children Need Body Input Before They Can Be Calm
Modern childhood often has less natural movement built into it.
Less climbing.
Less carrying.
Less pushing and pulling.
Less free, physical play.
And when a child doesn’t get enough of that deep body input, it can show up as:
- restlessness that never ends
- big emotions from small triggers
- constant movement
- impulsive behaviour
- difficulty transitioning
- “crashing” into people or furniture
- trouble focusing on quiet tasks
It looks like behaviour.
But underneath, it’s often regulation.
The Insight: “Heavy Work” Is a Nervous System Shortcut
“Heavy work” is a term used in occupational therapy.
It refers to activities that use the muscles and joints with effort and resistance.
Think:
- pushing
- pulling
- lifting
- carrying
- climbing
- crawling
- hanging
- digging
This kind of movement gives the brain strong feedback about the body’s position and force.
That feedback helps the nervous system settle.
Because when the body feels organised, the emotions often follow.
This is why some children become noticeably calmer after:
- playground climbing
- carrying something heavy-ish
- helping with chores
- pushing a cart
- moving cushions
- crawling through tunnels
It’s not magic.
It’s physiology.
The Solution: Build “Heavy Work” Into Your Child’s Day, Without Making It a Big Thing
Your child doesn’t need a complicated sensory programme.
Your child needs regular moments of deep, grounding movement.
Here are simple ways to do it, without equipment.
1. Turn daily life into regulation
Let your child:
- carry a small grocery bag
- push the laundry basket
- move cushions to “build a fort”
- help pack and carry items
- push a chair into place
2. Use play that naturally includes resistance
Choose play like:
- climbing frames
- crawling games
- tug-of-war with a towel
- wheelbarrow walks
- pulling a wagon
- obstacle courses with pillows
3. Use heavy work before the hard moments
This is where it becomes powerful.
Do 5–10 minutes of heavy work:
- before school
- before sitting tasks
- before transitions
- before dinner
- before bedtime wind-down
- after a meltdown when they’re ready
Think of it like pressing a reset button for the nervous system.
4. Keep it calm and non-punitive
Heavy work is not a consequence.
It’s support.
It should feel like:
Let’s help your body settle.
Not:
Go do this because you’re misbehaving.
Small Steps You Can Start Today
Choose one and try it today.
- Ask your child to carry something slightly heavy from one room to another.
- Make a 5-minute cushion obstacle course and let them crawl, push and climb.
- Let them push the laundry basket down the hallway.
- Do “animal walks” to the bathroom (bear walk, crab walk).
- Add 5 minutes of climbing or hanging at the park before heading home.
- Try a short “push the wall” game: hands on wall, lean and push for 20 seconds, rest, repeat.
Small inputs.
Big shifts.
A Gentle Closing Thought
Sometimes the fastest way to calm your child is not more talking.
It is helping their body feel safe first.
When your child gets the kind of movement their nervous system is craving, you often see:
- fewer explosions
- smoother transitions
- better focus
- more emotional steadiness
Not because they became “better.”
Because they became regulated.
And that changes everything.
Sources include occupational therapy sensory processing principles (proprioceptive input and regulation), child development research on movement and self-regulation, and mind-body wellbeing concepts commonly discussed by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee and Harvard Health Publishing.
